A brief note about the Doberman

As far as I can tell and read, the Doberman is one of about... five to ten "real" breeds specifically created for the protection of their human - and, as far as I can tell, the best at it. These Germans are on to something.

Bred to be fearless mountain dogs that roamed either as a pack or by themselves (plus human), they excel at both things; that is to say, mountain dogging and protecting. For instance, my Hans, who has another fantastic quality bred into him by Ze Americans - as we would say in this age of the internet, and meme-speak - what's known as "chill."

He fucking sleeps. There is no way around that. Like a motherfucking cat. An often smelly, softly noisy, 105lb cat.

BUT!

Get him in the woods. He's up, he's ready, he'll run ten fucking miles for every three of yours, and if you want, he'll come back with you long after your heels are blistered and crying and his paws leave red tracks in the snow. He does not, simply, give a fuck. (side note: part of this is that Dobermans are credited with having the highest pain tolerance of any pure breed. to a fault, at times.)

On the creek (my creek!), human[s] with gun in hand, he is at a heel, silent, nose in the air, pointing. A true game dog. He simply "gets it" to the point that he now accompanies me, at his age of 3, on my elk hunting trips.

More important. He is awake, alert, at the door, when he knows I'm off guard. Hans has gotten quite sharp at detecting that - if he thinks I'm on my game (which I usually am not, to be honest), he'll welcome anyone in with some squeaks and his wiggling lack of a tail.

However, when he thinks I am not, or when we're on unfamiliar or unfriendly ground (i.e. the boonies) he gives one bark when something is off, and when shit goes off, he is all teeth, all ferocity, and no fucking chill. I've even had to calm him down, and with some hesitation on my part. That's a lot of fucking teeth. But even at his scariest, all I have to give him is a "Hans! Heel!" and he is there, alert, but pettable. (pettable is apparently not a word. fuck it.)

He is my best friend. Sorry, other second-best friends, but y'all are humans.

Goodnight, everyone else.