Most of you in my area are familiar with the Fort Collins downtown and/or campus west scene. Here is my interpretation of what your favorite area bar says about you, as a person. (Side note, take this lightly - most of my favorite spots are on here too. If you can't laugh at yourself, then fuck you.)
Coopersmith's: You will drink literally any beer labeled as "craft" and don't mind throwing up for an hour the next morning. For the sake of being different, you will drink a chili beer with a straight face and repeatedly claim that "no, man, this is really good, you gotta try this."
Lucky Joe's: You think that drinking a Car Bomb makes you Irish, and that the guy singing and playing solo acoustic guitar covers of everything from the Beatles to modern pop is edgy, funny, and talented. You also enjoy poorly designed restaurants and having to fight a motherfucker to get a drink.
Tony's (guy): You enjoy steroid use, hair gel, and casual date rape, in addition to Tapout apparel and overuse of the word "bro." It's always the right time for a Jaeger bomb, bro. You have seen every episode of Jersey Shore.
Tony's (girl): You enjoy free drinks even if they taste a little funny, and are still upset with your dad because the BMW he bought you for your high school graduation was the previous year's model. You have a long-term boyfriend, but you break up every two weeks so you can both have an excuse to sleep with other people.
Surfside: You have twelve piercings above the neck and are really into the punk/metal band playing tonight - they're really about to break out onto the scene, man. Your hair color changes each week, but all your clothing is black. You hate every other bar because people give you weird looks. Fuck those squares.
Yeti: You really like pregaming for Rec Room.
Rec Room: You enjoy standing in line for up to an hour, even if wearing the minimum amount of clothing required by law in a sideways snowstorm. If you're a girl, your purse is full of shooters and condoms; if you're a guy the bartender "always hooks you up" because you're "boys." Losing a shoe because it stuck to the dance floor is a biweekly occurrence. You only listen to Top 40.
Bondi: You got kicked out of Rec Room, or they said your sister's ID didn't look like you, plus that bitch friend of yours kept calling you by your real name RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BOUNCER. I know, right? So fucked up. Whatever, lets go drink Long Islands and dance on the bar.
The Rio: You honestly think that starting out the night with three or four margaritas made with tequila and/or straight grain alcohol is a good idea. You enjoy seeing everyone you went to high school with on a weekly basis, even though you never really got along.
Road 34: You have a "man bun" and ride a "fixie." You may or may not be taking a break from riding said "fixie" to "catch them all." You dress like a lumberjack, but couldn't start a chainsaw if your life depended on it. You also are atrocious at pool.
Sundance (guy): You grew up in Littleton, but you still say "y'all" every other sentence. Your square-toe Ariats (or Justins) are only worn to pop country music shows. You have at some point, either knowingly or unknowingly, taken an underage girl home from here.
Sundance (girl): You and your two to four friends spent three hours making sure your nearly identical outfits didn't match. Your poor, overworked cutoff shorts are trying and failing to contain your ass. You love Jesus, but hate your dad. You won't go home with any guy who has tires smaller than 35" on his dad's lifted truck.
I could go on, but it's 2 am and I ostensibly have shit to do tomorrow.
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Saturday, July 16, 2016
Bike Review: 2006 Honda CBR1000RR 'Fireblade'
As many of you know, I completely lost my sanity several weeks ago (the exact timeframe is up for debate, but let's call it that) and bought a proper sport bike - a 2006 Honda CBR1000RR in this case, known to the rest of the English-speaking world as the Fireblade. I think I prefer its foreign moniker to its rather vacuum-cleaner like (sorry Clarkson) official designation, so that is how I shall henceforth refer to it.
The specific Fireblade in question was purchased used from the second owner with 7,800 miles showing on the clock, newish Michelin tires, a full carbon fiber Yoshimura exhaust, and a Power Commander 3. Condition is excellent - the only visible flaws are from an apparent zero-speed drop on the left side; I'm guessing the kickstand wasn't quite secured and it became a victim of gravity. You wouldn't see the scars if you weren't looking for them. Black is the color, and it is fucking sexy. I've previously claimed that I would never buy another black vehicle after the 'vette unless the price was really right, and this purchase did not break that promise. As usual, my inner cheap bastard was pretty pleased.
2006 was a great year for the Fireblade. The motor remained more or less unchanged from the previous model year, producing an advertised 172 bhp from a displacement of 0.999 liters. That motor, however, was pushed forward and down to make the bike less of a wheelie monster, while the front wheel was brought in and coupled with Honda's all-new electronic steering damper (HESD) to make it more controllable. It is unburdened by ABS, traction control, linked brakes, and other bullshit.
Riding this monster for the first time was an interesting experience for this relative newcomer to the street bike game. I've only been riding on the street for a little over a year, with a few more years on dirt bikes previously. I have been driving fast shit since I was a kid, though, so dealing with horsepower is not an unfamiliar feeling for me. Nonetheless, the fact remains that what is realistically more like 180 hp through almost exactly 600 lbs, including the rider, is something that could accurately be described as "life changing." At low RPM it feels exactly like a Honda: quiet, unassuming, efficient. Around 4 grand, it wakes up. Throttle response becomes extremely delicate, gears become more or less irrelevant around town, an angry growl emanates from the single out-the-back exhaust. Past that, things get scary. The powerband is shockingly linear for such a tiny, high revving 4 banger, and with a redline of 12,200 RPM, you need to be on your game. Firmly planting your ass in the seat and squeezing your thighs around the tank is a good way to prepare for the complete madness that ensues when ripping through the admittedly notchy 6-speed gearbox. Staying tucked will keep the front wheel mostly on the ground even at full throttle and high revs; throttle letoff is recommended between gears as "speed shifting" tends to create an interesting angle between your line of sight and the horizon, particularly between 1-2. Second gear will bring you to 111 mph with the front tire 1-2" above the road surface, third is in the vicinity of 130. I've not yet gotten braver than that.
Rideability is shockingly good for such a purpose-built sport bike. I purchased a Sargent seat as a nod to my damaged lower back, and it has made quite a difference. Overall, comfort is pretty impressive - after an hour or two in the saddle my spine doesn't cry out in pain, my generally shitty knees aren't complaining, my ass isn't completely numb, and my balls aren't in my stomach. Low-speed maneuvering is interesting, as the Fireblade's low center of gravity means you have to fucking lean if you want it to turn. This is not an issue at higher speeds, although I often find myself leaning off of the bike through the twisties to really get it low. It's a bit big to be truly good on the twisty mountain roads we find around here, although it can be done. It is quite evident that this beast was built to conquer more open road courses; she just begs for big, high speed sweepers one after another, with a couple good straightaways in there for good measure.
Overall, I could not be happier with the '06 Fireblade. I am absolutely certain that you cannot get a higher performance vehicle for the price - if you can, I will happily buy you a beer.
All for now, gotta sleep so I can ride tomorrow. Stay vertical, my friends.
The specific Fireblade in question was purchased used from the second owner with 7,800 miles showing on the clock, newish Michelin tires, a full carbon fiber Yoshimura exhaust, and a Power Commander 3. Condition is excellent - the only visible flaws are from an apparent zero-speed drop on the left side; I'm guessing the kickstand wasn't quite secured and it became a victim of gravity. You wouldn't see the scars if you weren't looking for them. Black is the color, and it is fucking sexy. I've previously claimed that I would never buy another black vehicle after the 'vette unless the price was really right, and this purchase did not break that promise. As usual, my inner cheap bastard was pretty pleased.
2006 was a great year for the Fireblade. The motor remained more or less unchanged from the previous model year, producing an advertised 172 bhp from a displacement of 0.999 liters. That motor, however, was pushed forward and down to make the bike less of a wheelie monster, while the front wheel was brought in and coupled with Honda's all-new electronic steering damper (HESD) to make it more controllable. It is unburdened by ABS, traction control, linked brakes, and other bullshit.
Riding this monster for the first time was an interesting experience for this relative newcomer to the street bike game. I've only been riding on the street for a little over a year, with a few more years on dirt bikes previously. I have been driving fast shit since I was a kid, though, so dealing with horsepower is not an unfamiliar feeling for me. Nonetheless, the fact remains that what is realistically more like 180 hp through almost exactly 600 lbs, including the rider, is something that could accurately be described as "life changing." At low RPM it feels exactly like a Honda: quiet, unassuming, efficient. Around 4 grand, it wakes up. Throttle response becomes extremely delicate, gears become more or less irrelevant around town, an angry growl emanates from the single out-the-back exhaust. Past that, things get scary. The powerband is shockingly linear for such a tiny, high revving 4 banger, and with a redline of 12,200 RPM, you need to be on your game. Firmly planting your ass in the seat and squeezing your thighs around the tank is a good way to prepare for the complete madness that ensues when ripping through the admittedly notchy 6-speed gearbox. Staying tucked will keep the front wheel mostly on the ground even at full throttle and high revs; throttle letoff is recommended between gears as "speed shifting" tends to create an interesting angle between your line of sight and the horizon, particularly between 1-2. Second gear will bring you to 111 mph with the front tire 1-2" above the road surface, third is in the vicinity of 130. I've not yet gotten braver than that.
Rideability is shockingly good for such a purpose-built sport bike. I purchased a Sargent seat as a nod to my damaged lower back, and it has made quite a difference. Overall, comfort is pretty impressive - after an hour or two in the saddle my spine doesn't cry out in pain, my generally shitty knees aren't complaining, my ass isn't completely numb, and my balls aren't in my stomach. Low-speed maneuvering is interesting, as the Fireblade's low center of gravity means you have to fucking lean if you want it to turn. This is not an issue at higher speeds, although I often find myself leaning off of the bike through the twisties to really get it low. It's a bit big to be truly good on the twisty mountain roads we find around here, although it can be done. It is quite evident that this beast was built to conquer more open road courses; she just begs for big, high speed sweepers one after another, with a couple good straightaways in there for good measure.
Overall, I could not be happier with the '06 Fireblade. I am absolutely certain that you cannot get a higher performance vehicle for the price - if you can, I will happily buy you a beer.
All for now, gotta sleep so I can ride tomorrow. Stay vertical, my friends.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
Summer Chaos
It's 5:00 PM here at the Wind Knot Ranch in North Park, Colorado, and it is (predictably) so buggy that willfully being outdoors borders on masochistic. Even with 100% DEET on, the mosquitoes are too thick to comfortably walk around with the dog. Ever seen a Doberman literally beg you for bug repellent before? I haven't yet been brave enough to venture down to the creek, so obviously fishing is out until the morning.
I'm not one to be bored, however. There is always ammo to be loaded, flies to be tied, guns to clean and beer to drink. Having just returned from 5 weeks at geological field camp for CSU, it has also become abundantly clear that my field sketching abilities are severely lacking, so I brought a sketch pad and some pencils in the hopes of improving them. I suspect I will need a few more of these Stone IPAs before that happens.
Speaking of field camp, I must say that it was an overall valuable and mostly enjoyable experience that I'm glad has reached its conclusion. My group of ~35 spent a week each camped south of Taos and west of Questa, NM, followed by 3 weeks lodged in Silverton, CO, which is famous for its scenery, 4-wheeling, touristy nature, mining, and very little else. I'll spare you the boring geological details, but our courses covered what is scientifically known as "a lot of different shit." I learned a lot, made several new friends, and became (perhaps uncomfortably) closer with my existing friends from what we affectionately refer to as geosquad.
I had the pleasure of driving my personal truck throughout field camp, which is something I acquired in February of this year. It's something of a franken-Ford - a 2008 F250 King Ranch with a 2010 6.4L Powerstroke Diesel and trans. Mods include a 71mm main turbo from Elite Diesel, Banks full dual exhaust (with big mufflers, thank God), Mini Maxx tuner, a 4" lift from Top Gun Customs featuring Fox dual-cylinder shocks, a Road Armor front end with excessively awesome lighting, color-matched Line-X everything, 35s on stock 20" wheels, and a bunch of other shit I'm probably forgetting. Anyway, it's pretty badass, and I paid about 70 grand less than it would cost to build the thing. Since the driveline is sitting at about 65k miles right now, I will be driving this beast for a long time to come. Power delivery on race tune is 650 whp and > 1400 wheel torque, and it runs in the mid 12s at Bandimere Speedway.
Over the course of field camp, I convinced myself that I needed a new street bike - something bigger, faster, and more comfortable than my '03 SV650. The original intended purpose of this new machine was to take extended rides and/or road trips with my brother and his Yamaha FZ1, which is a pretty upright sport touring bike, for those of you who aren't moto geeks. What I ended up with is a super clean, low-mile, 2006 Honda CBR1000RR, which is essentially a balls-to-the-wall 1000cc race bike. Whoops. Couldn't pass the deal up though, and I'm slowly converting it to a more comfort-oriented ride with a Sargent seat, 2" dropped pegs, Puig double-bubble windscreen, a luggage mount to replace the worthless rear seat, etc. I shall put the "sport" in "sport touring," to be sure. I will not comment on the CBR's speed and handling other than to say that it is on an entirely different level from anything else I've ever ridden or driven.
North Park is somewhat on fire at the moment, with the Beaver Creek Fire having consumed approximately 14,000 acres since its ignition by natural causes in the northwestern corner of the county. It is approximately 5% contained at the moment, according to today's Jackson County Star. The current approach seems to be to save what structures they can, and otherwise let it burn, which is a strategy I strongly support - the USFS' 100% fire suppression policy over the last 3/4 century or so has led to the accumulation of an absurd amount of downed timber and an overall unhealthy forest, according to people who know these things (I study rocks, not ecosystems). While it will be temporarily devastating, the long-term consequences of a large-scale forest fire in the area will inevitably be beneficial.
That said, it is going to suck for awhile.
Not much else to report, really. I've become kind of an Instagram post whore lately, so check me out @flyfishnaked if you do such things.
Later!
I'm not one to be bored, however. There is always ammo to be loaded, flies to be tied, guns to clean and beer to drink. Having just returned from 5 weeks at geological field camp for CSU, it has also become abundantly clear that my field sketching abilities are severely lacking, so I brought a sketch pad and some pencils in the hopes of improving them. I suspect I will need a few more of these Stone IPAs before that happens.
Speaking of field camp, I must say that it was an overall valuable and mostly enjoyable experience that I'm glad has reached its conclusion. My group of ~35 spent a week each camped south of Taos and west of Questa, NM, followed by 3 weeks lodged in Silverton, CO, which is famous for its scenery, 4-wheeling, touristy nature, mining, and very little else. I'll spare you the boring geological details, but our courses covered what is scientifically known as "a lot of different shit." I learned a lot, made several new friends, and became (perhaps uncomfortably) closer with my existing friends from what we affectionately refer to as geosquad.
I had the pleasure of driving my personal truck throughout field camp, which is something I acquired in February of this year. It's something of a franken-Ford - a 2008 F250 King Ranch with a 2010 6.4L Powerstroke Diesel and trans. Mods include a 71mm main turbo from Elite Diesel, Banks full dual exhaust (with big mufflers, thank God), Mini Maxx tuner, a 4" lift from Top Gun Customs featuring Fox dual-cylinder shocks, a Road Armor front end with excessively awesome lighting, color-matched Line-X everything, 35s on stock 20" wheels, and a bunch of other shit I'm probably forgetting. Anyway, it's pretty badass, and I paid about 70 grand less than it would cost to build the thing. Since the driveline is sitting at about 65k miles right now, I will be driving this beast for a long time to come. Power delivery on race tune is 650 whp and > 1400 wheel torque, and it runs in the mid 12s at Bandimere Speedway.
Over the course of field camp, I convinced myself that I needed a new street bike - something bigger, faster, and more comfortable than my '03 SV650. The original intended purpose of this new machine was to take extended rides and/or road trips with my brother and his Yamaha FZ1, which is a pretty upright sport touring bike, for those of you who aren't moto geeks. What I ended up with is a super clean, low-mile, 2006 Honda CBR1000RR, which is essentially a balls-to-the-wall 1000cc race bike. Whoops. Couldn't pass the deal up though, and I'm slowly converting it to a more comfort-oriented ride with a Sargent seat, 2" dropped pegs, Puig double-bubble windscreen, a luggage mount to replace the worthless rear seat, etc. I shall put the "sport" in "sport touring," to be sure. I will not comment on the CBR's speed and handling other than to say that it is on an entirely different level from anything else I've ever ridden or driven.
North Park is somewhat on fire at the moment, with the Beaver Creek Fire having consumed approximately 14,000 acres since its ignition by natural causes in the northwestern corner of the county. It is approximately 5% contained at the moment, according to today's Jackson County Star. The current approach seems to be to save what structures they can, and otherwise let it burn, which is a strategy I strongly support - the USFS' 100% fire suppression policy over the last 3/4 century or so has led to the accumulation of an absurd amount of downed timber and an overall unhealthy forest, according to people who know these things (I study rocks, not ecosystems). While it will be temporarily devastating, the long-term consequences of a large-scale forest fire in the area will inevitably be beneficial.
That said, it is going to suck for awhile.
Not much else to report, really. I've become kind of an Instagram post whore lately, so check me out @flyfishnaked if you do such things.
Later!
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