So now that the students are back...

Hello college town!

My name is Asshole Driver, and I'm from [insert interchangeable flyover cornfield state here]. I'm an angsty teen fresh out of high school in East Bumblefuck, [state], and I've been put in [college town] specifically to drive like shit and piss you off while I waste my parents' money getting a degree in [useless major]! Here's just a few of the things that I like to do while driving to ensure I accomplish my goal:

- Fix my makeup.
- Sing and dance (with three of my fellow frat mattresses) with my eyes closed at lights, instead of, you know, PAYING THE FUCK ATTENTION.
- Run that same left turn arrow as it turns red, making sure everyone behind me has to wait for the next one. Losers!
- Jam on my brakes and turn without using my turn signals. Turn signals are so, like, conformist, you know?
- Tailgate the shit out of you. Just because.
- Cut in front of you (again without using those totally lame turn signals) with mere inches to spare!
- Pass you, then cut in front of you and slow down. Suck it!
- Sometimes, I'll drive 30 mph in 40 zones for no reason at all. What, are you in a hurry or something? God, relax, bro.
- Other times, I'll drive unsafely fast through heavy traffic, weaving in between lanes without warning. Hey bro, some of us have places to be, okay?
- Be texting fucking CONSTANTLY. All my bitchezzzz need to know where I am, every thirty seconds! Lol!

I could go on, but instead, I'm going to go out and just fuck everything up for everyone!

XOXOXOXO! Lol! <3<3<3

- Asshole McFuckface Driver